Monthly Archives: January 2019

Penelope the Masked Marauder

CAST….

SAMANTHA ….A NUN; LUCY … PENNY;  MISS ICINI …MRS SIDEBOTTOM;  KATE AND CHARLOTTE …FRIENDS OF LUCY…their own names.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION, ONLY READ UP TO  WHERE THE PHOTOS END.

*****  *****

In a sleepy English town, called Highlikely all is not quite what it seems.

It is pretty without doubt, the people are happy living there, and care for the place they live in. All the usual things happen, summer fairs and fetes, grand Christmas Pantomimes and decorations, and the church oversees it all, under the guidance of Reverend Brown, who recently was bestowed a great honour.

As well as being the religious icon of the town, projecting an image of goodwill and heartfelt charity, he has just been given the honour of the Town Mayor.

Mrs Sidebottom was shocked, it was a two horse race she was desperate to win. It was a race that in all honesty the Reverend Brown would have been happy for her to win.

The truth is, she is a busybody, a very active member of the church, the font of all gossip, and… the leader of the church choir, which she runs like some sort of musical military boot camp!

One of the Nun’s at the local Catholic High School for Girls, Sister Samantha, has watched it all unfold with amusement. She helps with the choir, in fact, she helps with everything. To be exact about it, she is one of those people who hovers in the background making everything work, almost unnoticed. Apart from Reverend Brown, he does notice, and sister Samantha is glad he does, she likes him, and teaches his daughter.

To the village populous, and the church school, Sister Samantha has a warm and helpful reputation. But to any naughty girl at school, her reputation is of a strict disciplinarian. ‘Spare the rod, spoil the child.’ Were her by-words.

It has to be said, that Mrs Sidebottom produces excellent results. The choir is noted and respected, but other choirs say that there seems to be little in the way of fun. Many other choirs turn up to concerts and competitions doing modern songs, clapping and dancing even, often in costumes, and their choirs have beautiful names.

Where as the Highlikely Choir is quite staid and set in its ways, the Sidebottom way. Traditional in every way, ‘it was good enough for me as a girl!” Gertrude Sidebottom would always say, when asked for some sort of change.

This  mayoral election all happened two weeks ago, and Gertrude has accepted her defeat very well now. Things have got back to normal, and after all the talk of ‘who will be elected’ the townsfolk are back on their favourite topic…”who is the masked marauder?”

For a year or more people have fallen into traps, or been sent to somewhere nobody expected them, found their garden gnomes in odd places, and even had their front door locks glued up. Someone was having fun at other peoples expense, and the ‘other people’ did not like it!

Mrs Sidebottom in particular hated it all. And was on a mission, to find the culprit. You see, just before the election a crude drawing of her farting, as she leaned over in her chair was pinned to the church hall notice board, with words saying…’is this why she is called Miss Sidebottom…. Paaaaaarp!’

Ever since then she has eyed everyone with suspicion.

And things have got steadily worse. Silly drawings is one thing, but letting tyres down is silly and dangerous.

Having your milk and egg order changed from 2 pints and 6 eggs, to 20 pints and 6 dozen eggs causes inconvenience.

As for putting pretend notes of professed love through letterboxes to be found by angry wives or husband,well; that is beyond a joke!

Mrs Sidebottom kept a watchful eye at all times.

Sister Samantha had guiltily found it very funny indeed, and kept a copy of the drawing of Mrs Sidebottom letting rip, for her own amusement.

Reverend Brown had settled in to his new role, and quite liked the prospect of hosting functions, opening events and planting trees. Especially visits to schools, one in particular lay about a month ahead, the one his pride and joy went to.

Penelope Brown, his well behaved model of a daughter, went to Saint Lucy’s High School for Girls, she was Head Girl. Everyone looked to her as the girl they wished their daughter was like, or whom their son would eventually bring home as a girlfriend.

But one person was shrewd, and saw things other people didn’t. That was Sister Samantha, she could see right through Penelope’s ‘good little girl’ image, and instead she saw a scheming manipulative brat. Her right arm was itching to punish the girl on her bare bottom, severely! She would enjoy teaching her the error of her ways, but, until now, she had been elusive, and as slippery as an eel. Although she did not know for sure, she was almost certain that Penelope had got many a girl a bare bottom spanking or worse, the cane. She suspected that Penny, loved seeing them ‘get it’.

Sister Samantha was renowned as a ‘no nonsense’ disciplinarian. Reverend Brown knew this, and very often in his times of relaxation, imagined himself bent over before her, trousers down.

In the old Vicarage, Penny was busy doing her study, up in her room…allegedly!

Sat in her mask, looking in the mirror with an evil smile, she was plotting. Plotting the biggest embarrassment of Mrs Sidebottom’s life!

“Zee Masked Maraurder strikes again! They seek her here, they seek her there, but nobody is clever enough to catch zee elusive Masked Maraurder!” She laughed.

As  often happens in life, after a relatively quiet time socially, two things crop up on the same day. This happened to Penelope. The Summer Fete, and a concert by one of her favourite local boy bands, ‘The Fallen Angels’ were on the same day!

Because of his respected position in the community, Reverend Brown expected his dear daughter to once again show everyone just how lucky he was to have such a good girl, and told her to help the ladies on the cake stall, or look after the young children.

Penelope was devastated, but agreed happily. She knew she would think of a way out, or, to be more precise ‘The Masked Marauder’ would come up with a plan, and the plan she was plotting for Mrs Sidebottom would be perfect, just a few little adjustments and the Masked Maraurder might be able to go to the ball!

She was not going to miss the concert if she could possibly help it, it was even more exciting now, because she heard on the local radio that everyone was attending in white, and the lighting effects were going to make them all look fabulous. Not only that, but they were being filmed for the local T.V. Station. She could be on the Telly!

She imagined herself  as one of ‘The Fallen Angels’ …in a mask, of course!

At school the next day, four of her friends were off ill. A ‘bug’ was going around, people were being sick or having to run to the toilet urgently. She came home feeling a bit off it, and her Daddy told her to stay at home the next day. Her tummy ache never materialized into a full blown stomach upset, but the idea it gave her, developed into a wonderful plan, fitting into her idea she was already plotting for Mrs Sidebottom perfectly. The Masked Maraurder spent the day planning and plotting.

With a  well made plan, (developed over the day), in her mind, Lucy met two of her friends later, she felt sure they would accompany her to the concert and help her plan work.

She was so annoyed when she found out that they too were having to stay and help. One of them, Kate had been asked to help out in the crèche looking after the toddlers. Penny told them of her cunning plan, and asked them to help. She also revealed her identity to them, proudly showing them her mask!

They were thrilled to know the identity of the masked marauder!

The plan in Lucy’s mind was formulated to include recent events, namely the bout of tummy upsets! Her Daddy was prone to constipation, and had a good supply of laxative powders. Perhaps, if they volunteered to bake cakes, such as butterfly buns, muffins, and cup cakes. They could put laxative in the mix, the children would soon feel poorly and if they made sure some of the Mummy’s staying at the event ate some, then they would feel ill, and leave, taking the children with them. This way, at least one member of almost every family would feel ill.  News would spread, and the cake store, along with the crèche would have to be closed to stop the outbreak spreading.

Charlotte and Kate thought it brilliant, they all hugged. They were ‘going to the concert’ after all!!!

Later that evening Sister Samantha was dusting the pews of the church, talking to her favourite man, the Reverend Brown.

In walked the three girls, asking the Reverend if they could bake cakes together for the stalls.

Daddy was so proud of his daughter and friends, and agreed, singing their virtues to Sister Samantha, who smiled politely and thanked the girls.

It was at this moment that the first error of ‘The Masked Maraurder’ and her accomplishes occurred, it was down to Charlotte, who inadvertently dropped one of the concert flyers. It fluttered to the floor as they turned to leave, following Reverend Brown and his ‘oh so perfect’ daughter.

This was the moment the plan, in its infancy….SHATTERED…

Sister Samantha picked it up, and immediately saw the date, the same date as the Church Fete. She saw it as divine intervention, it was time to unmask the naughty girl in the mask, and reveal her identity, and bare bottom, to all. All she had to do was wait, and watch. As sure as God made little green apples, these three girls would be found out and punished.

She watched them leave, enjoying seeing them so happy. ‘Ignorance is bliss girls, off you go, dig yourself a very deep hole and walk right into it!”

The girls had great fun as they happily ‘baked’ their plan one evening, a couple of days before the Church Fete.

PHOTOS OF THE GIRLS BAKING, LOTS OF BENT OVER KNICKERS ON VIEW SHOTS

Penny took care of adding the secret ingredient. She emptied four sachets into each mix. The cup cakes, muffins, and butterfly buns were armed and dangerous! All ready to deliver to the home of Mrs.Sidebottom in the morning.

The next morning came and the cakes and pastries were all delivered to the church hall, Sister Samantha and Mrs Sidebottom were as usual at the hub of things, directing people here and there. When Mrs Sidebottom took the cakes, she immediately ate two, and another secretly, saying  that the cakes could not have come at a better time, she was starving, and her tummy empty, because she had been so busy.

PHOTO OF MISS ICINI EATING THE BUNS

The day was hot and sunny, and it was soon obvious that things like ice cream and strawberries and fresh cream, along with cold drinks were going to be most popular. Their plan began to fail.

Some other girls from school came along to the fete, all dressed in white, happily telling everyone, especially Penny, that they were off to the concert. Penny was seething, and quickly came up with a plan to spoil things, by shouting happily, (to disguise her anger) ‘Hey girls, I wish I was going too, but I have to stop here, why not take some of these with you, for your tea, they are not selling too well and the heat will affect them soon.’

The girls took them, and all said how well she had taken not being able to go to the concert.

Sister Samantha as usual took everything in, observing. She was pleased to see Penny being so grown up. Maybe she was not as bad as she thought. She also saw her giving some more to Mrs Sidebottom earlier, to ‘save waste’. The said Mrs Sidebottom had been missing for an hour, and people were getting concerned, but Sister Samantha was pleased to  see she had returned, although a  little pale.

The afternoon, and early evening rolled on and her cakes were still hardly touched, but then people started to feel like tea and cake instead of strawberries and ice cream, as the day turned just a little cooler. Although it was to late for the concert, she could ‘get even’ and the ones she targeted were the members of the choir, starting with Mrs Sidebottom.

“Hello Mrs Sidebottom, my cakes were not wanted much with the hot weather so I am giving them away, would you like a couple?”

Mrs Sidebottom could not turn down such an offer, her appetite had returned a little. She shouted the others over and between them had quite a little feast, complimenting Penny on her baking skills and her good nature.

Sister Samantha was close by, and looked on with interest and curiosity.

The evening choir concert began, and with great style. Penny, sat with Kate and Charlotte, watched with her camera phones at the ready. Soon she saw Mrs Sidebottom begin to struggle, then rapidly lose control, having to run from the stage, red faced as loud long lasting farts issued forth!

PHOTO OF KATE, CHARLOTTE AND LUCY LAUGHING

Penny and her friends almost thought that this was better than the concert they really wanted to see, and rolled about laughing and pointing.

Sister Samantha saw this and it did not take her long to figure out what had happened. She made it her mission to follow the girls especially Penelope, as often as she could, to prove they were so naughty.

She did not have to wait long at all. Next morning she went to visit Mrs Sidebottom, and found out that nearly all the choir had been violently ill, all dashing to the toilet every few minutes to evacuate their bowels.

Providence struck, the Reverend Brown asked his daughter to also go and see Mrs Sidebottom and to take flowers, along with the remaining cakes.

Sister Samantha told Mrs Sidebottom of her suspicions and when Penny arrived, asked if she could stay to listen, and then on Penny’s departure, she would follow her. Mrs Sidebottom agreed, and a suitable hiding place for Sister Samantha was found.

PHOTO OF SISTER SAMANTHA AND MRS SIDEBOTTOM

Penelope came in looking and sounding like a sympathetic concerned visitor, with a pretty bunch of flowers. “Oh my Daddy told me of your illness, and I was so pleased he asked me to come and see you, how ghastly it sounds and quite a few others are poorly too I understand.”

Sister Samantha stood still listening and shaking her head in disbelief.

“Let me put these in some water Mrs Sidebottom, shall I make you anything?”

She asked for a cup of tea and maybe an arrowroot biscuit, which her father ways said was good for an upset bowel or tummy. “You’ll find them in the pantry!”

Penny went into the kitchen, and both Mrs Sidebottom and Sister Samantha followed. They suspected she might do something to the drink, but what transpired was worse and could not have worked better.

There was a wash basket full of clothes, and on the top were a pair of Mrs.Sidebottoms rather large knickers! Penny put the kettle on and as she waited, she spotted them. To say she found them amusing would be a great understatement! She put them on the table and took photos, then, as she reached for the biscuits she saw a packet of chocolate ones. She took one out and smeared chocolate on the seat of the pants, to make it look like Mrs.Sidebottom had had an accident.

PHOTO OF THIS HAPPENING AND THE LADIES WATCHING

She rolled them up, and sent some pictures to her two co-conspirators. Messages flew back and forth, Penny giggling.

PHOTO OF THIS

She was about to mash the tea when Sister Samantha and Mrs Sidebottom walked to stand behind her and coughed. “Pass that phone over young lady! And my knickers!” Said Mrs.Sidebottom loudly.

Penny stood in shock, caught, and with the evidence in her hands. It was worse (or better!) than what the two ladies thought, because evidence of all her previous pranks were there to be found.

The phone and knickers were snatched from her grasp.

“Right madam, send a message to your two friends to meet you at the church hall, now!”

Penny was in a panic, she knew the game was up and did exactly what was asked, hoping in some way, that obeying meekly, might save her.

Sister Samantha telephoned her Daddy, and they marched the poor girl, crying, all the way to the curch hall.

Within ten minutes, all were assembled. The three girls stood shame faced and crying, both of Penny’s friends saying it was all Penny’s idea. Which of course she could not deny, the evidence on the phone proved everything.

Sister Samantha suggested dealing with this like the school would, with corporal punishment, pointing out what the bible says about ‘sparing the rod spoils the child’.

The Reverend had to agree, to much protests from Penny and her two friends.

PHOTO OF ALL THREE GIRLS PLEADING

Without further ado, all three girls went over three knees and were soundly spanked.

PHOTOS…LOTS, OF THE GROUP SPANKING….WE DECIDE ON THE DAY, MAYBE EVEN A VIDEO IF TIME ALLOWS

Then to Penny’s dismay, Sister Samantha pulled out a cane. “I think a jolly good thrashing on the Penny’s bare bottom is needed, and you two can take photos and post them to everyone!”

Penny was then made to present her bare bottom and received 24 hard strokes on the bare!

Here are the photos that appeared everywhere, notice boards, bus stops, school windows.

LOTS OF PHOTOS OF THE CANING

Penny learned her lesson!

THE END