Samantha has a lovely new apron, it is from the 1950’s, I got it her from one of my fellow dealers at my antiques emporium. I actually got her three, you can see two more of them on the table…..oh come on! Stop looking at her pussy! I am talking to you!!!

Show them Samantha, hold it up so they can see.

Nice isn’t it?

Oh good grief! Look at you all, I get over a hundred visitors an hour now, and not one of you have looked at the bloody apron yet!!!!

Its in mint condition, never been worn, straight out of an old set of drawers from an old…..oh sod it, nobody is bloody listening to me! Put your tongues back in! The floor is a bit dusty.

Asa