I have three stories that might interest you, so settle down at my feet, naked, let me entertain you here in my study. I have made a lovely log fire, it’s warm and cosy. I have warm scones, butter, and strawberry jam. We can drink tea.

If you are here late in the evening, I have red and white wine, good strong cheese, butter, and crackers.

This is a very rare thing…a photo of me. I respectfully ask that you do not use it, or post it. I am a private person.

“Hmmm where do we start? A ghost story, or vampires!” I speak quietly, and ponder. Let’s go with vampires.

I take a sip of red wine, and smile at you all warmly. The fire reflecting on your naked flesh. I recite a little rhyme I wrote once…

I read you the first story…

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You snuggle together, you are scared, my house is quite large, and very old. If you need to go and relieve yourselves, the nearest toilet is down the corridor, through the door there. There are candles here to light your way. It’s draughty, so shield the flame.

You all settle down again, I drink from my second glass of my favourite Merlot.

“Another vampire story for you…”

I show you a picture of Charlotte…

“I think you all know my dear friend, Charlotte. Let me tell you of her darker side…”

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You all look quite pale, and the habit of looking over your shoulder seems to be spreading around the room.

“Scared then?”

“Let me finish with a ghost story, set in this village, set in this house…”

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“Right….who fancies a spanking orgy?”

::chuckle::

Goodnight, sleep tight.

Asa